So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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