hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
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I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
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So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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