Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
