Barsexuality is the new black.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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