Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Randomize
