Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
