The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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