we have pet lesbian snakes
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
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her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
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Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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