once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
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