What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
