Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
4 words: hood of his car
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
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