Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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