i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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