Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
