I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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