you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
