he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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