Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize