Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
