I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
