Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
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I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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