I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
one might say we're banned from that church
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Randomize
