I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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