if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Randomize
