i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
