Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
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guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
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There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.