i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out