he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
