Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
