Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
