Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
only you would photoshop your dick
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
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