i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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