Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
