Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
