Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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