Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
