I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Randomize
