I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
