need another drink. this is the easiest way
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Randomize
