Can i not drive my cunt home
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize