Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Randomize
