yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Randomize
