I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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