now i know why i became what i already was.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
