We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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