He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
barbara walters just said penis...
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
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