For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
