YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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