He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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