At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
