it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
