Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
