Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
