she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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