Michael Bay diarrhea
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
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