i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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