We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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